Am I SinnEd?

What mistake have i done?
I always was on the run
Letting the faith dominate me
But still I am ever shunned

Perhaps the evil is stronger
That's why his curse is realised
Although he was a bad man
Yet my fate was prejudiced

Amist this juncture of pain
God din't want me to gain
He bestowed what is called 'love'
In order to punish what i did above

Oh God! you know how painful it is?
For me it's torture for others it's bliss
I wonder am i sinned that much?
With this love i don't enjoy as such!